i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
