You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
