sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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