I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
