I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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