On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
