I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Well I just put wine in my tea
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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