What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
