party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Randomize
