So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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