Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
