What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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