Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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