i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
