Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
