great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
