I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
