this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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