the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
