i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Randomize
