That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
