why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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