How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Randomize
