You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
she peed on how many people?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
