Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
