Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Randomize
