it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
