it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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