so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
