So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
