Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
