honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
