Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
