i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
