Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
