My room smells like vodka and shame
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
