I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
