your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
