I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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