try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
