Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Randomize
