I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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