Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
