You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
