May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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