Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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