totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
