Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
it's great music for shaving your balls
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
