why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
