I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
